如果我们再相见,事隔经年

If I should see you,after long year.如果我们再相见,事隔经年。How should I greet, with tears, with silence.我将以何贺你,以眼泪,以沉默。
未使用的政治家的大脑
the brain surgeon was about to perform a brain transplant.
外科医生正要作脑移植手术。
you have your choice of two brains, he told the patient, for $1000 you can have the brain of a psychologist, or for $10,000 you can have the brain of a politician.
你可从两个脑子中选个给你。医生告诉病人,心理学家的大脑1000美元,政治家的大脑10000美元
the patient was amazed at the huge difference in price. is the brain of a politician that much better? he asked.
病人很惊讶二者间的差别,政治家的大脑好些吗?他问
the brain surgeon replied, no, it’s not better, just unused.
医生说:不是好些,只是没有用过
谢谢你没往浴缸里看
unexpected guests were on the way, and my mother, an impeccable housekeeper, rushed around straightening up. she put my father and brother to work cleaning the guest bathroom. later, when she went to inspect it, she was surprised that the once-cluttered room had been tidied up so quickly. then she saw the note on the closed shower curtains. it read "thank you for not looking in the bathtub."
不速之客就在路上,我妈妈是完美的家庭主妇,正忙着整理。她分配给爸和哥哥的任务是打扫客人使用的浴室。一会后,当她检查时候,她吃惊了,一度杂乱的房间被打扫干净了。她看到浴帘有张纸条上写着:谢谢你没往浴缸里看。
我知道你会帮我。。
Smith goes to see his boss in the front office. "Boss," he says: "we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic(阁楼) and the garage."
  "We're short-handed, Smith." the boss replies. "I can't give you the day off."
  "Thanks, boss," says Smith, "I know I could count on you!"
 史密斯去找他的老板。“老板,我们家明天有很重的工作要做,我妻子让我修阁楼和车库。”
  “可我们很缺人,史密斯。”老板答道,“我不可能放你的假。”
  “谢谢,老板。”史密斯说,“我就知道你会帮我。”
老娘实在是背不动了
昨天爬九华山,半山腰看见一个美女从包里不断地掏出苹果,香蕉橘子啥的往一个不知名的小庙菩萨面前摆,嘴里还叽叽咕咕的。
我靠近点想听听她在做什么仪式,只听到:菩萨帮帮忙,老娘实在是背不动了。
蚊子小姐的死因。
‍‍蚊子小姐突然去逝了,大家都给震惊,因为它的身体一直很好。
经常锻炼,注重保养,尤其是香薰这一块。
后来验尸报告出来,大家才明白她的真正死因。
于是纷纷感叹:“丫的,活该,点什么香不好,非点蚊香!”‍‍
原来如此。不要这样好不好
一对夫妻来到一口许愿井旁,丈夫弯腰,许个愿还往井里仍个硬币.妻子也想许愿但她弯腰时不小心翻入井里.
丈夫惊呆了,然后又笑着对自己说真TMD的灵啊!
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