病人为什么在嚎叫呢
dentist: please stop howling. i haven't even touched your tooth yet.
牙医：请你不要再喊了！我还没碰你的牙呢。
patient: i know, but you are standing on my foot!
病人：我知道，可是你正踩着我的脚呀！
牙医：请你不要再喊了！我还没碰你的牙呢。
patient: i know, but you are standing on my foot!
病人：我知道，可是你正踩着我的脚呀！
- 父亲为儿子的遗传病买单
- doctor: ′i can do nothing for your complaint. it is hereditary.′
医生：对你的抱怨我无能为力。那是遗传病。
patient: ′then send the bill to my father, please.′
病人：那请你把账单给我父亲吧
- 你跑出来干啥啊！
- 一天，
精神病院的护士接到一个电话。
那人问：“小姐，你去看看13房4床的病人还在不在？”
护士说：“请您稍等一下。”
过了一会儿，
护士：“哎呀，他不在了！”
电话里的人说：“那就好！看来这次我是真的跑出来了。”
- 智商让人捉急的病人
- brown: i'm sorry to see you so unwell. have you seen the doctor?
布朗：看到你身体这样不好真让人难过。你去看医生了吗？
jack: yes. i'm having three baths a day.
杰克：看过了，我现在一天洗三次澡。
brown: what for?
布朗：为什么？
jack: don't know, doctor's orders. he gave me some medicine and told me to follow the directions on the bottle, which read:" one tablespoonful to be taken three times a day in water.
杰克：我也不知道，这是医生的嘱咐。他给了我一些药并告诉我要按照药瓶上的说明去做。说明上面写着“一天三次在水中服一汤匙。”
- 未使用的政治家的大脑
- the brain surgeon was about to perform a brain transplant.
外科医生正要作脑移植手术。
you have your choice of two brains, he told the patient, for $1000 you can have the brain of a psychologist, or for $10,000 you can have the brain of a politician.
你可从两个脑子中选个给你。医生告诉病人，心理学家的大脑1000美元，政治家的大脑10000美元
the patient was amazed at the huge difference in price. is the brain of a politician that much better? he asked.
病人很惊讶二者间的差别，政治家的大脑好些吗？他问
the brain surgeon replied, no, it’s not better, just unused.
医生说：不是好些，只是没有用过
- 谢谢你没往浴缸里看
- unexpected guests were on the way, and my mother, an impeccable housekeeper, rushed around straightening up. she put my father and brother to work cleaning the guest bathroom. later, when she went to inspect it, she was surprised that the once-cluttered room had been tidied up so quickly. then she saw the note on the closed shower curtains. it read "thank you for not looking in the bathtub."
不速之客就在路上，我妈妈是完美的家庭主妇，正忙着整理。她分配给爸和哥哥的任务是打扫客人使用的浴室。一会后，当她检查时候，她吃惊了，一度杂乱的房间被打扫干净了。她看到浴帘有张纸条上写着：谢谢你没往浴缸里看。
- 我知道你会帮我。。
- Smith goes to see his boss in the front office. "Boss," he says: "we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic(阁楼) and the garage."
"We're short-handed, Smith." the boss replies. "I can't give you the day off."
"Thanks, boss," says Smith, "I know I could count on you!"
史密斯去找他的老板。“老板，我们家明天有很重的工作要做，我妻子让我修阁楼和车库。”
“可我们很缺人，史密斯。”老板答道，“我不可能放你的假。”
“谢谢，老板。”史密斯说，“我就知道你会帮我。”
